I'm going to jail i love you
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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