i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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