We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
