he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
