Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
