don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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