Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
