All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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