There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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