C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Congratulations! We have a period
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