ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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