Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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