I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
