He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
