dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize