I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize