so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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