I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
