New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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