you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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