when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
