He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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