I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
