There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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