you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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