i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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