ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
