Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
