She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
