That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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