I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just gift wrapped bread.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
