Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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