I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
