You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
