I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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