I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
