People in love make me want to vomit
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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