I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
