Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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