She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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