i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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