the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
