watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
