he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
