I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
