remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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