So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
