Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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