I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize