Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
