the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My penis needs a shock collar
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize