grandma shit on top of the toilet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
