Dual....:-)
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
