woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
