I just cut my nipple shaving
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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