For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My feet surprised me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
