I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
