Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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