I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
