i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
