He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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